If our heart is not there — if our soul is not already safe through faith, if our mind is distracted and focused on other, lesser things, if our best strength is being spent on the things of this world — jobs, sports, shopping, entertainment, relationships, and on God — we simply will not date well. Listen to Jesus, and “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Seek him first (Matthew ), and dating will be added according to his perfect plan and timing. It’s not the first rule, but I have found that it is a “golden rule” that most often makes the difference between healthy and unhealthy Christian dating relationships.But after embracing and applying the first and greatest commandment, I have found that the . If you’re not a Christian — if you haven’t dealt with God before trying to date — you don’t have a chance of having a truly healthy Christian relationship with someone else.The first step in dating should always be the step of faith we take toward our Lord, Savior, and greatest Treasure, King Jesus.He captures our into his goal and plan for our life: to make disciples who love him with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. Will we trust him, even when we want something else for ourselves?If you look at how God identifies relationships between men and women, if you’re in Christ, you’re either brother and sister, or you’re husband and wife. I would encourage a young man, if you’re interested in a girl, think she might be marriable, spend time with her, great.
They ask themselves, “What does a relationship look like with someone who is neither my spouse nor my fiancé?
” How does one practice vulnerability without any security, any promises, any covenant?
How does one react to anxiety in the relationship without always becoming defensive? Each of us is left with a basic question: How does the grace of Christ meet us in the midst of emotionally charged, often over-spiritualized, life-encompassing performance anxiety?
As I stepped in, I saw a beautiful young woman, whom I had never seen before, sitting on a couch. An ordinary night instantly transformed into “the rest of my life.” That was our beginning, seventeen years ago. In her histories (1 Samuel 12:8; 2 Kings ), in her poetry (Psalm 81:4–10), and in her prophecies (Daniel ; Amos 3:1) God retells the story of creating a nation for himself. Because remembering our past helps us make it through our present while we anticipate our future (Hebrews –26).
Couples who are just entering that beginning stage are a sight to behold. Even the most grounded men and women can be brought to a giddy, distracted mess.