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A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not.

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"What's the best movie/book/meal you saw/read/ate in the past year?

They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact. Either way, it’s exciting to be able to get to know another human being and get a peek into his or her world.

Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says.

Pick one thing on his profile and make fun of him for it.

Did he really need to have his shirt off at that block party? Type this sentence verbatim: "So, where should we get that drink?

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