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“And that includes being gay and being very open about it and having had some struggles in the past.” At the time of their meeting, de Rossi admits that she weighed 168-pounds and was extremely self-conscious. Yeah, it was great.” STORY: Portia de Rossi Shocked by First ' Arrested Development' Script As for what De Generes remembers, the comedian jokes, “I mean, that’s the first thing I thought. De Generes starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen De Generes Show, since 2003."I'd never met one for a start and I just thought they were strange and that they hated men and they were very serious and I had these ridiculous images in my head and there were no out celebrities or politicians or anybody that I could look to and go, 'Oh, I could be like that.' There was nobody that I could say, 'I could date her and I want to be like her.' I just kind of thought I don't want to live like this.I don't have to, I don't need to, I just shut down the emotional life.'' and she "had to hide her sexuality.""I felt very scrutinized for just being a woman and an actress playing this kind of sexy role, because I didn't really feel like that."They're very sweet," De Generes said of the rumored new couple, who were spotted eating at a restaurant on Dec.

In 2010, she was a judge on American Idol for its ninth season.

It's not really my personality to want to be the sexiest girl in the room," de Rossi said."I didn't like people thinking of me as a sexual being, and I was just terrified that people would know that I was gay."De Rossi said she didn't date at all at the time while she was hiding her sexuality, and had a plan to start dating once she had saved enough money to live a more private life.

The actress said her eating disorder at that time took the place of her dating life."The thing that kept me company was my eating disorder," she went on.

"We really don't almost break up, we don't fight, we're madly in love, and I guess it's boring," De Generes told Howard Stern on his Sirius XM radio show.

WATCH: Ellen De Generes Absolutely Embarrasses Wife Portia De Rossi But de Rossi's relationship wasn't all the formeractress opened up about at the star-studded bash over the weekend.

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