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The series spanned 251 episodes and lasted almost four times as long as the war which served as its setting. Last man standing on his feet at the end wins the war! This jeep is the official property of the US Army in general and Col. Sorry, patient, you have a temperature of 109 stroke 10. And Frank, here, who studied medicine under General Rommel was too chicken to operate. Charles: (To Captain Sweeney, CO of the stuttering Private Palmer) Captain Sweeney, if you say one more unkind word to Private Palmer, I will personally write a report detailing your inhumanity, and I will have it placed in your 201 file, where it will follow you for the rest of your career. Hawkeye Pierce : [writing to his father] You said I sounded a bit callous in my last letter Dad. At this particular Mobile Army Hospital, we are not concerned with the ultimate reconstruction of the patient. Hawkeye Pierce: Frank, I happen to be an officer only because I foolishly opened an invitation from President Truman to come to this costume party. Blake in particular and as such is to be used for the official duties thereof and nothing else. I'm afraid you can't have an incubator but you can have a pizza with everything on it to go. He was afraid that under anesthesia the lieutenant might give away Harry Truman's hat size! Charles: Well, Father, I'm afraid you don't understand.

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I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun! Even now, the sight of lettuce makes me talk faster. BJ: (about Charles) I'll bet he has the largest record collection in all of Korea. It can be done if you have your phonograph on for every minute of every day. Oh, I'm getting the bodies all right, but I wonder if I'm getting the souls. Margaret: Well I did everything I could and I'd do the same thing all over again.

[puts file down] Klinger, aren't you ashamed of yourself? When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I would then have until the salad to report the highlights of my day. You know, you'd think a guy with that many records wouldn't have a chance to play them all, but he does. Potter: I just wonder if I'm getting what this painting is really all about: the camaraderie, the affection we have for each other.

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